The dictionary defines a fetish as a sexual attraction to objects or body parts not conventionally viewed as being sexual in nature. Everyday items such as cigarettes, cigarette holders, stockings, boots, fabrics such as fur, leather, rubber, vinyl and even parts of the body such as feet and hair.
So how des the cigarette holder become afetish object? I for one admit to an immediate stimulus at seeing a holder being used. Is it the phallic nature of the length and smooth straight line or is it the hollow factor of smoke being pulled through the tube into the mouth? And why does the sight of one excite me and not someone else? It is apparantly related to childhood association with inanimate objects or visions when first coming to puberty. This is possible as I was brought up in the sixties when boots, pvc, mini skirts and smoking were all a regular sight. So do we then take it that in this new world of hidden smokers that the fetish for smoking will become less popular?
Does anyone have any views or expertise in this area? I would love to discuss this in further detail.
What is a fetish?
Sun, 04/04/2010 - 02:42
#1
What is a fetish?
I can't answer this question. It's hard to define why is it a fetish!
Kev,
You've asked some very insightful questions! They are ones that i have explored, studied and questioned myself for many years. There seems to be a fair amount of psychological study that identifies why and how someone can acquire a fetish, but there still appears to be quite a bit of randomness to the process.
Assuming that the vast majority of fetishists did not have parents who intentionally tried to create a fetish in them as a child, then you have to wonder what you were exposed to that triggered such a reaction in you that did not likewise affect someone else? It is generally agreed that a large number of fetishes are things that imprint us at a particular developmental stage when we are young, but it is unclear exactly when the point of maximum vulnerability is or exactly how the process can happen. For some, the object somehow became associated with pleasure, although we're typically too young to identify it as "sexual" pleasure. For some, it might be associated with comfort or security. However, i grew up at a time when women wore more significant undergarments than today (long before 'thongs'...) and i can vaguely recall seeing my Mom in bra and longline girdles, or various types of underwear, and even putting on stockings and clipping them to a garter belt when getting dressed. However, none of those items became fetish items for me. And yet, although i have absolutely zero memory of seeing anyone personally using a holder when i was young, i have a significant fetish for them (and a variety of other items that i cannot recall any personal connection towards). In fact, i find smoking by a woman to be very unattractive as a whole, but if she is using a holder, my opinion changes 180 degrees.
The mind is a complex and unusual thing!
Now of course, if you want to talk about how to create a fetish in an adult, that is a more easily answered and much more erotic discussion! ha ha
Latexman :-)
Thanks for that Latexman, it was most interesting to read. We were probably brought up in similar backgrounds and a similar age. It is fascinating to hear you mention that you even find a woman smoking to be unattractive yet not one using a holder. I reckon many feel this way. I know I do in a way Although I can find some attraction to normal smoking I find women using roll-ups or cigars to be most displeasing and not at all feminine. To witness a plain women smoking again does not turn my head yet see her dressed up, nails done and lippy in place and yes I would take more time to look. However you place the cigarette in a holder and slip a pair of black leather gloves on her and I would walk over hot coals to get another look. Why? I cannot for the life of me explain. Its like passing fifty women in the high street then almost cricking my neck at the one with the glossy high boots on. Its like shopping in Marks's and making room for the umpteenth time for the lady shoppers, not wanting to occupy their space for fear of trespassing yet spotting the one wearing the shiny PVC or leather raincoat draws me to follow her around the shop with my eyes wishing she was occupying my space and walking arm in arm with me.
A hollowed out length of plastic is all a holder may be to most people yet some of us see it as an object of fascination, a sexual stimulus even. It emphasises femininity, dominance or glamour. It may signify strength, confidence or maturity. It certainly looks elegant and pleasing to the eye, at least to me anyway.
I want to discover why I am attracted to them. Maybe its a skin thing? Skin to a baby looks shiny, plastic, glossy so maybe this explains why I am attracted to glossy clothing, shiny boots, plastic holders?? There must be some link and the more I discuss the subject perhaps the more I will understand it.
Returning to the subject of what is a fetish I was wondering if anyone else had any ideas? For many the fetish appears to have had its roots in early puerility. The fetish is a classically conditioned behavior. The root for this behavior is often formalized by many variables. This could include seeing the smoker as stereotypically sweet, and innocent individual behaving in ways that are considered taboo. For others it stems from an attraction to more worldly person, whose smoking epitomized their strength and self-confidence (typical for D/S practices). Within queer culture, this style often stems from the image of masculinity. Smoking fetish is sometimes performed in BDSM pornography, because This act is generally associated with humiliation of the submissive partner due to the insulting connotations of having smoke blown in one's face, but it may simply be tied to the taste and smell of ash or secondhand smoke in the case of masochists who do not enjoy humiliation. This specific style of sex can evoke atmosphere of Wild West to many people. Not only the atmosphere, but with associated ancient light women with long skirts. This is obviously something that can hardly be imagined by anyone who does not share the fetish as they cannot relate the significance of the holder to any form of sexual tendancy.